Late marriage problem of educated youth


                                                                             Mohammed Arifeen

Pakistan is facing a problem of late marriage in urban areas. As a result of being unemployed after higher education for a long duration our boys and girls are facing problem in getting suitable partners. Even the parents of their highly educated daughters find difficult to get a suitable match for their daughters. 
In this critical situation the girls after their reasonable education are compelled to go for further higher education or for a white collar job. Naturally with higher age, high quality and with their best job they prefer their partners to be on the same level, age and with the same type of qualification and good job status. Thus, with no better match available both boys and girls live a solitary and bachelor life for a longer duration.
In our country marriage has always been considered as an important establishment of human society. An aged, educated boy cannot survive in isolation without a partner and he wishes to have a lasting partner after leaving the world. An individual is living on a set of guidance. They have come to this earth to grow, get educated, and on getting mature they get married. 
In the past the boys and girls were married at a very early age. The priority of the parents was to get their daughters married at the age of 14 or 16 and their obligation was to see that their sons stand on their feet and take up the business of the father. But at present it’s not the same. It is now strange to see that our unmarried grandparents’ of a higher age are seeking suitable partners for their marriage.
Girls face more problems when getting married at a later age. Boys also face the problem of late marriages. In Pakistan; sons are brought up to share the burden of their father. They are supposed to be responsible for running the affairs of the home. They are asked to earn a sufficient amount of money as to bear the expenses of the marriage ceremony and the burden of his family. Therefore, in this context boys usually get married late. Solving the financial problem is the priority of the mother, which compels the son to marry late.
The presences of unmarried sisters at home demand that brothers must wait for the sisters to get married before they bring their partner at home. Consequently, as a result of this they reach the age of forty or even fifty when they hardly get married. In this state of affairs, it is observed that they live glamour of bachelor life or a strictly religious devoted life. All boys like after higher education and getting a suitable job they get a real suitable partner in their life. All their hopes are faded when they are compelled by their relative to marry at all cost.
No good proposal comes sometime come from the other affluent families as a result of this the educated daughters are not married and spend most of their life isolated at home or work in offices not favorable to their likes. Most of the parents want their daughter to get married in their community and will always not allow that their daughters are married in another community. As a result, they wait for long for a proposal comes from the same community.
It is now the desire of an educated girl to have a person rich, handsome, and educated. This sort of match keeps them waiting till late in life. This keeps themselves in a disadvantageous position and they reach at the stage where proposals stop coming from the other side and here their life is gloomy.
The reason of late marriages of girls in the rural areas and in the feudal’ families is rather different. In feudalistic society avarice that the male members of the family want their land restricted to their possession; thus daughters have to wait till a son is ready to marry them without their property. In a selfish world where people look for themselves only there develops in mind to save a lot in case instability of the job or serious sickness in life. 
Islam stresses that a Muslim should marry in order to lead a pure, peaceful and serene life. It is natural that a marriage at proper age keeps the individuals well engaged in the compact stream of life. Thus, later marriages have become one among other quandaries of an advanced age.
There are many girls in Pakistan who, in order to have a career like in the medical profession; postpone marriage until it becomes too late. Parents should know that girls can surely get married early and have a career after marriage. However, this problem remains. Our educated boys do not want to marry a woman over thirty, or even in her late twenties. Consequently, in this unfortunate circumstance they delay their marriage until it becomes too late. It is surprising that parents don’t take the initiative to marry their daughters off in their early twenties.
Nowadays people spend huge amounts of money on marriages. Some go to the extent of even spending their life savings, while others go as far as taking loans from companies where they work. Thus, in their rest of their life is the amount spent on paying back. This amount is not a productive investment and all the money spent on luxurious weddings is wasted.
More and more people are choosing to marry later in life, with many couples opting to marry in their thirties. Carried out by – was a leading internet-based matrimonial service for the Muslim community – the survey showed that the community is bucking the UK trend. The overwhelming majority of Muslims believe that the ideal age for marriage is by the age of 25, a survey of Muslims has revealed. 
When asked to state a preference, 15 per cent of respondents said that the ideal marriage age is 20. 56 per cent said 25 and 23 percent said 30. Over 70 per cent of members would therefore expect to be married before their 25th birthday, and over 94 percent would expect to be married before they turned 30. A total of 4,000 Muslims was polled online. 
A happy married life is the aim and dream of all educated people. Life in this world is for a short period. It is the parents and teacher’s duty to teach their pupils to lead a simple and austere life in this world. In this context the government should play a leading role and provide employment to educated ones after graduation. The government with the help of eminent Ulemas should fix the age of marriage, which is not to be too late or early. 
We should know what our Prophet (PBH) said:
Marriage itself is a Sunnah, which means that it is recommended, not obligatory to us. Therefore, if a Muslim does not marry throughout his life, he commits no sin, although he has chosen a course for his life different from that recommended by the Prophet. The recommendation is made in the strongest of terms, as the Prophet says: “Marriage is my way, (i.e. Sunnah) and a person who disdains to follow my way does not belong to me.” Yet the emphasis put in the recommendation is only to heighten its desirability. It is not to be understood from this hadith that a person who remains unmarried throughout his life removes himself from the fold of Islam or even commits a sin.

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