Tough love: Love yourself

Recently, came across a concept, never heard before,  confused what it may be about? Yes, you hear right, it is ” Tough Love “. Instantly I thought love has always been the soft rather softest of emotion among many others, that has the power of melting the strongest, the hard- hearted the inhuman and the list goes on. The phrase was initially coined by Bill Milliken when he authored a book , ” Tough Love “, in 1968.

In recent years this phrase is becoming popular.

To my surprise, this concept is very different then what is assumed. Amazed to learn the philosophy behind ,”Tough Love.” It is,” self – discipline “.

One tend to infer, how difficult it is to discipline oneself specially when in teen years. The right age to practice the same though! Sooner the better. The older one gets, become more stubborn in habits.

It require great effort to let go interesting time pass activities and focus to the targeted tasks. Sacrificing favourite activities is difficult.

Tough love is supposedly the major quality adopted by successful people. The primary condition is Determination. To attain this quality one must love oneself, that is, the secondary condition. Only then the urge to achieve win win position,  reach out the aims and goals can be materialised.

Sounds little selfish and self obssessed. It is OK to be at times. Only then the win win position be achieved. In a society,  in an environment of present time, it is difficult due to various interruptions faced but not impossible. With the advent of technology, cell phones ringing, net loaded with information continuesly keep distracting. One sign in to check meaning or spelling etc. and get lost in the occean of information, waste time in absorbing irrelevant matter. To avoid such episodes one must adopt the use of dictionary to discipline oneself, that is, tough love .

For me getting up early each morning a normal routine. Early bird, since childhood. Practicing the nursery rhyme

Early to bed

Early to rise

Makes a man

Healthy Wealthy and wise

All seven days are same. During student life study time remained 3 am onwards. Same pattern followed during the academic career. All reading,  writing  remain an affair of early morning when mind is fresh and absorption level 100 percent.

One scientific research findings reveal that from 4 am to 8 am mind is most efficient, that is, give 80 to 100 percent , decline gradually during the day reaching out to almost zeero later at night. Wonder why our youth prefer to study at time when had to put 100 times more effort?

Often receive suggestions to relax a bit, as stay home now, but it’s time to practice ,” TOUGH LOVE ” even more. A big NO to change the forever disciplined life, treasured most.

A documentary portraying secret of long life expectancy in Japan reveal the following:

In Japan there is no concept such as retirement. People continue working even at the age of 80 and more and remain in good health. Work according to their capabilities. The lifestyle they follow advocate the importance of being active, meaning showcasing their worth and not just lying down on bed waiting the call of the maker. Thus active lifestyle promises good health leading to long life.

A famous saying by a renowned author, missing the name, goes like, ” the tougher you are on yourself, the easier life will be on you “. Being strict and well-disciplined implies self love. Discipline make it easy to target goals, short-term as well as long-term. Also time management made easy, hence increase efficiency.

However, interesting to note that one become ones own Commander-In-Chief, obey to self orders. Living a life on own terms is better then force to live

like a leaf floating in water, where ever it takes!

I wish our 65 %  youth start practicing,”  TOUGH LOVE ” , in their own favour.

To conclude, I refer here, Aravind Srinivas, Perplexity CEO’s

TOUGH LOVE: His advice to the youth, the young generation, GenZ is

” Reels aren’t real learning.

Stop scrolling and start thinking. Go build your own future.”

In an interview to “The Economic Times”, a business focused newspaper.