Why happy girls threaten an unhappy society

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When 17-year-old Sana Yousaf was brutally murdered in her own home in Islamabad, headlines called it an “honor killing,” a case of male entitlement, another influencer silenced. But that’s not the full truth. What we lost wasn’t just a girl with a phone and a following, we lost a bright, happy, secure child. And that’s something our society has never really known how to handle.
Sana danced. She smiled. She wore what she liked. She said no when she wanted to. And for some people, that was just too much.
Those of us who grew up in this culture know exactly how this works. A girl’s happiness has always made people uncomfortable. There’s something about joy in a girl that triggers the need to control her. From family gatherings to school hallways, there’s this quiet, constant pressure to shrink, to soften, to behave.
I remember it. My friends remember it. At some point, all of us were told: “Don’t laugh so loudly.” “Don’t talk so much.” “Don’t draw attention.” Why? Because happy girls unsettle unhappy people.
Let’s be real. When we talk about freedom for girls, this is nothing more than what every child deserves. It’s the freedom to laugh freely and loudly. To wear clothes that make you feel good. To want to look pretty. To post a photo without being attacked for it. To feel seen and still feel safe. That’s what Sana had, and what so many want to take away.
She wasn’t just happy. She was secure. And that kind of security, being at ease in your own skin, your own voice, is rare for girls here. When someone shows up in the world that way, it shakes people. It holds up a mirror to everyone else’s buried frustration.
A psychologist would probably describe her as a well-regulated, socially confident teenager. Her laughter, her energy, her ability to say no, all of that points to a child who had been given the emotional safety to be herself. The kind of child who isn’t afraid of being seen. Who doesn’t shrink. And that’s the thing, we should all want our children to grow up like Sana. But most people don’t know how to handle a girl who actually does.
When you’re emotionally stunted or raised in fear, someone else’s emotional wholeness can feel loud, threatening, even inappropriate. So instead of learning from her, they try to break her.
And so the quiet taming begins.
“Cover up.”
“Don’t post that.”
“You’re being too much.”
It starts small, and then it grows. Girls are stalked. Harassed. Slut-shamed. Threatened. Hurt. And when they say no, like Sana did, that no can cost them their life.
This wasn’t just one guy who “couldn’t take rejection.” This is about a society that refuses to accept that girls don’t exist for male attention. That a smile isn’t an invitation. That a “no” isn’t negotiable.
You want to know why happy girls trigger people? Because they remind them of what’s been lost. Because they refuse to carry the silence. Because they shine where others were told to hide. Because they’re free, and that freedom feels offensive to people still trapped in fear.
If you’ve never known joy, someone else’s joy can look like arrogance. If you’ve never felt safe, someone else’s confidence can feel like a threat.
This isn’t just a tragedy, it’s a mirror. One we all need to look into.
We’ve failed our girls if we teach them to dim their light just to stay alive. We’ve failed our boys if they were never taught how to accept rejection without violence. And we’ve failed completely if a joyful teenager like Sana is seen as a threat instead of a light.
Let girls be loud.
Let them take up space.
Let them post their photos, wear what they love, and dance without fear.
If a girl’s joy unsettles you, the problem isn’t her- it’s you.