The art of losing


The most beneficial art to live for me is the art of losing. The art we have never been taught anywhere at home, at university, in society or community. This Hadees by Hazrat Muhammad (SAAW) is very rarely discussed. He said “If you avoid fighting and surrender despite of being right, take your reward from me at Hoz-e-Kosar (Pond in paradise).
Although we heard this verse from Quran that “Allah is with Sabrin (Patient)”. However we do not act according to it. After expressing our grudges and pouring our share of fuel to agitation, when we have to face consequence we say we are practicing Sabar. When you tolerate in any relationship Allah helps you. But when you express your grudges you became vulnerable to others feelings and thoughts about yourself. And most of time the reaction is more painful than the problem itself. Where you express your needs in front of other than Allah, and beg for it Allah leave you there. We are so overconfident about our relationships that we ignore Allah’s promise that He is with patient.
This confidence is result of being on the top, being the winner, being the priority in others’ lives. Actually we cannot tolerate others and do not try to understand them because of our feeling of superiority. This is the point where we need the art of losing. Its life, understand it, priorities get changed. Have a look at your life, you must have changed your priorities many times. There are many people in our lives who come and go and change their position in priority list. When we can change it, other can too. We may be priority in someone’s life, but we can lose this space too.
Learn the art of losing your space to avoid pain. This is one of the reason why people get frustrated on losing their space in relationships, in business deals, in offices and among friends. Despite noticing humility we cannot be possessive about that person. It’s just because we don’t want to “unhook our fish”. My suggestion is, just let it go.
When we have tight economic phase in life and want to achieve as per our wishes. The sense of lacking achievements leads to deprivation. In my opinion feeling of deprivation is worse than scarcity. People think of suicide and sometimes commit suicide out of frustration because of feeling of lagging behind in achievement. Actually in this frustration they are lose everything that future may offer to them.
In my experience abroad we are losing weight but not adopting new taste of food. This is another expression of sticking with something we are comfortable with. Instead of being grateful to the available we are constantly nourishing our feeling of deprivation. So, let’s not think out of the box, just jump out of the box to enjoy life.
Believe Allah’s plans, you will get your share of money, love, job and status. Just stop humiliating and degrading yourselves in greed of getting everything. Be patient, learn to lose, wait for your turn. You will definitely get “what is meant for you”. I intentionally avoid to write “the best”, because the best is again an “Illusion”. We have to understand that “Allah loves Sabrin”. So, instead of being stressed on losing the desired, be grateful what you have. I am not at all discouraging the struggle and promoting inactivity. I am only suggesting that after putting your best efforts when you do not get something desired learn to lose it for the sake of peace of mind.